College.

Ok so I never actually thought I would get to a real college. It was always this far away idea in my head that I fantasized about, but I never really felt solidly about it. Now that I'm here, it feels so natural that I don't know why I ever felt weird about it.

As much as I miss home, I really like it here. I thought that I would hate the small town, and feel trapped because I was in the middle of nowhere...ish. But really, I can't imagine being any where else right now.

The Day Is Fast Approaching

August 16th, I will be moving into my dorm officially.

*insert small excited fit here*

I really have mixed feelings about this. I'm terribly excited to be moving out, on my own, and going to college. Then there's the cold feet. HOW THE HECK WILL I MANAGE WITHOUT LIVING WITH MOMMY AND DADDY??

As it gets closer, I realize how much of a child I still am. Two years ago, I was SO ready for this. (Mentally, at least.) Now I feel completely unprepared. I have so much growing up left to do!

This is all part of the making of me, though. This IS growing up.

Family Reunion

Not going to lie, the phrase up there in the title gets me nervous. And nervous is exactly how I felt on the drive up to Connecticut to see the Fortini/Forstl side for the first time in about 8-10 years. My feelings were somewhat calmed when my uncle offered to let me chauffeur him to the reunion. In the 2011 Dodge Charger that he rented for the weekend.

^__^

Not to go off on a tangent about a car, but it was fabulous.

Anyway. The reunion was EXTREMELY enjoyable! I got to see sooo many people I didn't even remember, and found out I'm related to someone who looks and talks EXACTLY like Stu from the Hangover. Needless to say, day made.

And then I got to spend a lovely Father's Day with mi padre, his two brothers, and my cousins. Altogether a laid back day, with tons of quality time spent. Come back to me my lovely Fortinis!

Eagle Forum Summit was sooo amazing. Update tomorrow or sunday!

Eagle forum collegiates summit

Totally enjoying the conference! Got to meet michele Bachmann who basically said she was going to run for president! Love her!

Shocker: posting only a week after the last one?

I mean, maybe I'm the only one who is shocked? Although it shouldn't be a surprise. The semester is over, and I'm only working one job so I have all this...stuff on my hands. Time? What is this time thing you speak of?

Well my time is being used up by three things. Work, working OUT, and MUSIC.

Starting to work out regularly for the first time since, I think...last summer? It hurts just to think that. I'm such a freaky out of shape mess!

Work: I hate to be that person who just sits around and complains about their job, but I'm going to be. It's a rotten place. It smells like onions. My boss refuses to make a schedule, and insists on calling me and asking me to come in...right that second. No, I will not drop what I'm doing and come straight there even if I can, simply because you called me and told me to. Call me what you like, but I won't. Eesh. Can't wait to go to college and NOT work.

And music. I think I was 14 the last time I listened to this much music on a regular basis. But in an information age with FM transmitters, iPods, and multimedia smartphones, it's so much more accessible.

I want to talk about this one thing: dubstep. It seems like it's the new thing to center your life around. With good reason! According to my favorite Urban Dictionary, dubstep is music centered around bass. Or as me and my fellow listeners say, WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP da da YAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAYAYA.

I'm especially proud of two certain people. I'm going to be annoying and give them shout outs, but only because they are SO AMAZING I CAN'T TAKE IT. They have gifts.

The first is the one and only Matt, my dear brother. He goes by the alias, Cliche of the Day, and his mixes can be found on his Reverb Nation page.

The second is Josh, my fellow bandmate. A gifted kid, that he is. Find him on Reverb Nation also, as A.C.O.G. (A Child of God).

If you happen to find time in your busy schedule, listening to those kids would be a good use of your time. I promise you shall not be disappointed. :)

Ok I'm done shamelessly promoting my family and friends.

And so we go.

A close.

I'm going to sit here and write a blog post instead of finishing the 1000 word poli sci paper and the 5pg econ research paper I have waiting for me to do in the next five hours before the next day must begin. After all, what kind of college student would I be if I did not procrastinate as much as is physically possible?

Coming to the end of my first full year in college, I have discovered so many things. First, Mom and Dad were right. Aren't they always? When I graduated high school, I was so ready to go straight to a four year school and start my life on my own. Yet I had the voices of my parents telling me that I should stay around for one more year, which I could not fight even if I wanted to. Being a minor means your hands are tied, even when it comes to signing your own college applications. So I enrolled full time at community college and started taking credits that would transfer to my desired school, then a few just for fun.

Over the first month or so of my first semester, I was going through a serious life change, and to be honest, I don't even remember half of it. I came and went basically, made friends around the middle of the semester, lost them by the end, and altogether the only thing I had to show for that four months of my life was a 3.85 GPA. I then got to fight my way through the holidays while trying to bear the burden of a relationship that was more important to me than life going awry. Along with that, two days after Christmas I was laid off. Happy holidays.

But there was an upside to all of that. During my month off from school and work I spent a lot of time at home with my family, especially Matthew, that I am so glad that I had. I spent countless late nights up watching movies with Matt, playing music with him, and just hanging out. At the time, I felt like I was going to die from cabin fever, but looking back I realize that it was perfect timing. Because as soon as the spring semester started up again and I got a new job, I had less and less time with the family that I would, in a couple months, be moving away from. It hit me that at the end of this summer, I'm going to be leaving my house and going to college. It was really going to happen and I wouldn't have those late nights with Matt anymore, or time to hang out with my Mom, or chat with my Dad over breakfast in the morning, or say goodnight to Nicole, or go out to eat every Thursday morning with Mike, or scream for Mark when I found a spider in my room. A new time in life is approaching fast, and I need to make the most of the one I am in now.

So I started the spring semester, was able to somewhat repair my broken relationship, and a whole new set of classes. In the first week I think I changed all but two of my classes because I wasn't satisfied them, but after finally getting settled, my goal was to get a 4.0. Well I don't think that's happening, but at least I can say it was because I didn't try hard enough, not because I tried my best and failed. I made friends and lost friends. I spend too many days brooding over things I couldn't control instead of just enjoying the things I had. I worked way too much and studied way too little. Now that I'm finished, or will be after theses next 8 or so pages of writing and research, I can say that YES I wasted time, but this year was NOT a waste.

I got a chance to experience what it was like to be on my own, like working to pay for my car and gas, and going to school by myself, meeting new people. Yet still, I had the advantage of going home every night and having a solid ground to rest on.

First, thank you Mom and Dad for being right. Second, thank you county college for teaching me what I don't want out of life. Thank you to the people who showed me what I don't deserve, and those who showed me what I do.

Thank you God for keeping me alive.

And so we go.