A close.

I'm going to sit here and write a blog post instead of finishing the 1000 word poli sci paper and the 5pg econ research paper I have waiting for me to do in the next five hours before the next day must begin. After all, what kind of college student would I be if I did not procrastinate as much as is physically possible?

Coming to the end of my first full year in college, I have discovered so many things. First, Mom and Dad were right. Aren't they always? When I graduated high school, I was so ready to go straight to a four year school and start my life on my own. Yet I had the voices of my parents telling me that I should stay around for one more year, which I could not fight even if I wanted to. Being a minor means your hands are tied, even when it comes to signing your own college applications. So I enrolled full time at community college and started taking credits that would transfer to my desired school, then a few just for fun.

Over the first month or so of my first semester, I was going through a serious life change, and to be honest, I don't even remember half of it. I came and went basically, made friends around the middle of the semester, lost them by the end, and altogether the only thing I had to show for that four months of my life was a 3.85 GPA. I then got to fight my way through the holidays while trying to bear the burden of a relationship that was more important to me than life going awry. Along with that, two days after Christmas I was laid off. Happy holidays.

But there was an upside to all of that. During my month off from school and work I spent a lot of time at home with my family, especially Matthew, that I am so glad that I had. I spent countless late nights up watching movies with Matt, playing music with him, and just hanging out. At the time, I felt like I was going to die from cabin fever, but looking back I realize that it was perfect timing. Because as soon as the spring semester started up again and I got a new job, I had less and less time with the family that I would, in a couple months, be moving away from. It hit me that at the end of this summer, I'm going to be leaving my house and going to college. It was really going to happen and I wouldn't have those late nights with Matt anymore, or time to hang out with my Mom, or chat with my Dad over breakfast in the morning, or say goodnight to Nicole, or go out to eat every Thursday morning with Mike, or scream for Mark when I found a spider in my room. A new time in life is approaching fast, and I need to make the most of the one I am in now.

So I started the spring semester, was able to somewhat repair my broken relationship, and a whole new set of classes. In the first week I think I changed all but two of my classes because I wasn't satisfied them, but after finally getting settled, my goal was to get a 4.0. Well I don't think that's happening, but at least I can say it was because I didn't try hard enough, not because I tried my best and failed. I made friends and lost friends. I spend too many days brooding over things I couldn't control instead of just enjoying the things I had. I worked way too much and studied way too little. Now that I'm finished, or will be after theses next 8 or so pages of writing and research, I can say that YES I wasted time, but this year was NOT a waste.

I got a chance to experience what it was like to be on my own, like working to pay for my car and gas, and going to school by myself, meeting new people. Yet still, I had the advantage of going home every night and having a solid ground to rest on.

First, thank you Mom and Dad for being right. Second, thank you county college for teaching me what I don't want out of life. Thank you to the people who showed me what I don't deserve, and those who showed me what I do.

Thank you God for keeping me alive.

And so we go.